FLEE FROM SEXUAL IMMORALITY – 1 CORINTHIANS 6:18
1. Tell someone you trust about the addiction. The power of sin is in its darkness. Furthermore, he who conceals his sins cannot prosper – except who confesses and renounces who will obtain mercy (Prov. 28:13). The best idea is to enlist an accountability partner with whom you will promise to be honest – confess your sins to one another (James 5:16). If you are married, you need to make confession to your spouse. If you are a minor, you need to confess to your parents. Whoever has been wronged by your actions needs a confession. But most importantly go to God in repentance and seek His forgiveness for you have first of all sinned against the infinitely Holy God. Why not make your pastor your accountability partner?
2. Realize that you are a victim of pornography. The addict is the first victim. Spouses are victims. If married, you have left the sanctity of the marital vows (Hebrews 13:4). If unmarried, you have already cheated your future spouse! There will be consequences – guilt and defilement. Just like in an athletic game, staying within the boundaries allows you to not only keep playing, but to win. Those who continually go out of bounds either get side-lined or lose. They will never be happy or find any joy in it. Love is not a feeling, but a daily act of commitment and devotion first to God and then to His creation - to the well-being of the beloved. By it's very nature addiction to porn is a self-centred, self-absorbed way of life. Such selfishness is not and cannot be love – love does not insist on its own way (1Cor. 13:5). Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good (Romans 12:9.
3. Pornography is based purely on fantasy. Reality can never match the fantasy. Again, one is living against reality here. There will be an escalating desire for the fantasy to become reality. Eventually escalation becomes necessary. Pornography is almost like heroin on the brain. The viewer may start off with very mild porn, but that will cease to excite. They will slowly move into harder forms. When that ceases to excite, some form of acting out will happen. It's all about choosing reality over fantasy. Porn addicts are inordinately affected with this issue because the fantasy has become an alternative reality that can and will never be true. God has told us in His word, Let us walk properly as in the daytime, not in orgies and drunkenness, not in sexual immorality (literally pornography) and sensuality, not in quarrelling and jealousy. But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to gratify its desires (Romans 13:13-14).
4. Think your way to health. The problem is not in your hormones or your body, but YOUR HEART. For from within, out of the heart of man, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, coveting, wickedness, deceit, sensuality, envy, slander, pride, foolishness. All these evil things come from within, and they defile a person." Mar 7:21-23.
It is the heart has the control of your mind and the mind controls the rest of the organs in its perversity. This interferes with your perspective so that view other human beings as objects and sex toys instead of an individual who is in the image of God, this enslaves you both. The actors and producers of pornography are all enslaved to this sin. While fornication and adultery is done in secret by two individuals, pornography is immorality that has multiple accomplices including the consumer! This in no way reduces or excuses the sin of fornication and adultery, but it illustrate how you make yourself a consumer of a poison that has killed so many others.
There is only one way to disentangle yourself from this terrible vicious circle – by calling on Jesus Christ who is the only One who is able to save sinners from their sins (Matthew 1:21). Thankfully, Christ calls out for sinners to come to Him for mercy and pardon of their sins. He says, “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest…” Mat 11:28. Though your sins be as red as crimson, He will make you as white as snow …. "Come now, let us reason together, says the LORD: though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red like crimson, they shall become like wool. Isa 1:18.
5. Begin by hearing the gospel truth! This can only happen where God has worked – where He has given a new heart replacing the stony heart. This will be a reality in a person who has experienced the regenerating work of the Holy Spirit. You do not have the strength to work yourself to the point of cleansing – only God can. Only the blood of Christ is able to cleanse from all unrighteous, for He has said, If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. (1John 1:9). Then work towards a solid relationship with God, which includes fidelity, faithfulness, love and respect for God and His people. Only this will be satisfying.
6. Improve your self-image and perspective.
You worldview must be informed by God’s word. God created you in His own image and you must bear this image when you are Christian. Remember For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. Rom 8:29.
You are not an animal (no matter what nonsense they teach at school about evolution). I can assure you that you are not at the mercy of your hormones and physical sensations. You have the ability to think and to reason. In making ourselves to be slaves of the physical, we put all reason aside and become as animals. This is not how we were created. Not only are you not an animal without reason, the person you are looking at is not an animal. At this point, this is how you are treating them. The pleasure (which is God’s displeasure, but wrath) you are getting here and now is going to have future repercussions, may be eternal implications!
7. Understand the difference between the immediate and the eternal. Every word, every deed, indeed, every thought has consequences. You will one day stand before the judgment seat of God and give an account… For we will all stand before the judgment seat of God; for it is written, "As I live, says the Lord, every knee shall bow to me, and every tongue shall confess to God." So then each of us will give an account of himself to God. Rom 14:10-12.
Once you get a grip on that reality, you are more willing to reassess what you are thinking. One of the best quotes I have ever read said that, "wisdom is knowing reality and adjusting yourself to it.
1. Porn Again – Mark Driscol
2. Escape from the Addiction to Pornography: A WAY OUT – Anonymous
George Collins MA
Ph.D. Kevin B. Skinner